Love Relates

Love relates.

Love is about relating to another person.

Love is ever changing and growing, it is a continuum. You cannot be in a hurry to love or know another person. In relating to another we journey through a process of discovery. We come to a deep knowing. As soon as we try to use the structure of relationship to know and predict we do not allow each other the freedom to exist as we are, to love and be loved.

In a state of not loving, we live in a vacuum, feeling empty unseen and unknown .

When we learn to Relate to another we avoid taking each other for granted which is the source of much pain and suffering.

When a person speaks for their partner, thinking that they know the other so well, they   step out of relating into a construct or perception of the relationship and each other, rather than the discovery of one another. This is not relating.  It is impossible to know another completely.

 Love is not about conquering or controlling through being able to define and name another.

Not being grateful destroys love, it is insulting and disrespectful. In these moments you  step out of the present into the past trying to predict the future, worrying about things that may never occur.

When we relate we are consistently learning about the other, we remain curious and alert. We are able to see the multi facets of the other, allowing a depth to our experiences of relating, being and consciousness. Relating is a joyful experience. The exploration of consciousness is LOVE.

Do not reduce your relating into a stagnant ‘knowing’. Otherwise the other person becomes a mirror to you distorted by your wounds.

Through exploring another person you excavate your own inner recesses. By Travelling deeper into another person’s experiences, feelings, thoughts and dreams’ you will come to know your own essence. Love is about continually searching and seeking another.

Discovering new ways of loving one another and being with each other is LOVE. In this process both people remain an inexhaustible mystery.

Love then becomes a constant adventure of relating.

Love more today by becoming conscious of how you relate to another person.

30 days to consciously bring love into your life. Day Six

30 days to consciously bring love into your life.

 

www.livingfromtheheart.co.uk

Each day I will be giving you exercises, tools and tips to help you live from the heart to improve your relationships and attract more love into your life.

Day six: Open to receive Love

‘Our minds can shape the way a thing will be because we act according to our expectations’

Many people have not been taught how to receive, it is an innate skill. It’s never too late to unlearn the conditioning that veils your ability to open up and experience love, joy and aliveness.

Your task today is to become aware of how you create blocks to receiving today.

Ask yourself what do you deserve? You may find some beliefs about yourself and others that prevent you from aligning yourself to allow more love into your life. Be aware of how you respond to others when they show love and affection. Do you get uncomfortable when someone shows you kindness or gives you a compliment?

How you respond is exactly how you treat the people that love you.

Notice what happens when you think of making positive shifts in your life? Whether it is in your career, financial, love or relationship situation, does fear arise? If so you are holding onto a belief that will limit your ability to receive.

Consciously invite the fear to surface and spend some time listening to it. Experience it in your body do not judge it, allow it to be in the room with you,  pour love, compassion and understanding onto this part as you would with a young child to help them heal and grow.

Your daily experience of Love begins with being open to receive as much as you are able to give Love.

 https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Living-from-The-Heart/110918608974105

30 days to consciously bring love into your life. Day Five

30 days to consciously bring love into your life.

www.livingfromtheheart.co.uk

Each day I will be giving you exercises, tools and tips to help you live from the heart to improve your relationships and attract more love into your life.

Day Five: Get in touch with your emotions.

‘There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy.'

Awareness of your physical body can help you tap into your emotional self, shifting your focus from outside to inside.

Your body is a direct reflection of your emotional body. Listen to your body and respond accordingly – f you feel tired take time out to relax. If you have an abundance of energy use your body, if you feel a creative pull go and create something paint, write, draw, and move.

Feelings are experienced in your body; an awareness of your bodily state can enhance your ability to identify your feelings.

 

Practice: Make a scan of your body, Sitting or lying down in a comfortable position (savasana is corpse pose lying flat on the ground arms by your side legs about hip width apart.), take a moment to consciously take in several deep breathes and relax. Close your eyes and bring your focus to this present moment and your physical self. There is no need to try to do anything – just be present and passive. If you need to move to get more comfortable do so if you feel the need to tense a certain body part in order to let go of tension then do whatever brings greater comfort and ease.  Begin scanning your body by drawing your attention to any part of your body that asks for attention.  Beginning perhaps with your head, face, jaw, eyes, ears, and skull. Tune in to what is happening here. What do you notice? Do your best to remain as passive and non-judgmental as possible. You are encouraged to become an objective observer of your experience. At the same time, carefully observe your head, both deep inside and on a surface level. If you notice tension, tightness or contracted muscles, consciously release and relax those areas.

As you feel ready, progress down to your neck, shoulders upper and lower arms and torso. Again, notice what is happening in your heart.  Carefully observe your back, spine and chest area, both deep inside them and on the surface. Again, if you notice tension, tightness or contracted muscles, consciously release and relax those areas. Progress now to your abdomen and notice what is occurring here. From there, move on to your lower abdomen, hips, pelvis, buttocks and thighs. Next, focus on your legs and feet. Once you have finished focus on your hands and fingers. Finish this exercise by taking a few more deep breaths and turning your awareness back to your entire physical self, which includes all of the parts on which you have been focusing.

 

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Living-from-The-Heart/110918608974105

 

30 days to consciously bring love into your life. Day four

 

30 days to consciously bring love into your life.

www.livingfromtheheart.co.uk

Each day I will be giving you exercises, tools and tips to help you live from the heart to improve your relationships and attract more love into your life.

 

Day four: Time to let go of old stories.

‘You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.’

 In order to welcome love into your lives become aware and let go of some of your beliefs about Love, what you learnt from a young age whilst growing up, from your Mother, Father, siblings and significant people in your lives.

 

Listen to the deep internalised messages; feel them in your body and how they may have influenced some of your decisions now as an adult.

 

What messages did you receive? Are they true, are you shaping your life to the same soundtrack? What negative messages are you holding onto?

Task: Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the centre so you have two columns record the negative messages and next to each one write down  what  replace the old messages with a new one

I.e.: ‘No one loves me’ on the right hand side you would counter this with ‘I love and approve of myself’

Take some time to write down what you learnt about Love. Today write down and acknowledge what needs to be altered. Each day take a moment to work on each of these messages. Get support if you need to.

 

Once you stop telling yourself the story about your life and how you are loved and love – they will have less power over you – you are free to shape your own destiny.

 

By loving yourself you allow others to love you back.

 https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Living-from-The-Heart/110918608974105

30 days to consciously bring love into your life. Day Three

30 days to consciously bring love into your life.

www.livingfromtheheart.co.uk

Each day I will be giving you exercises, tools and tips to help you live from the heart to improve your relationships and attract more love into your life.

‘Our way to practice is one step at a time, one breath at a time’

Day three: Have a clear Vision

Get quiet and clear about what it is you wish to have more of. What will you allow in your life? Develop a clear vision. A simple way of doing this is to create a vision board, or a collage of images, words, phrases that serve as a visual representation of what you want in your life. By writing a few words about the images you have put on the board you set a clear intention for your vision. 

 Gather your images, magazines, postcards and photographs to represent your future.  Spend some quiet time reflecting on what you wish to be in your future. If you could see yourself in an ideal world, how would it look like, feel like, smell like, and sound like?  Feel joy deeply in each cell of your body as you search for images words. Allow your feelings to guide you. When you have enough images and words to create your dream board, get your board and arrange the pictures however you see and feel them fitting together. Go with the flow of your feelings. Then glue the pictures, postcards and photographs on your vision board. If you wish add affirmations on your dream board, making statements in the – ‘I am deeply Loved’ Write your name on the board, and add the date. Now display your dream board where you can see it often, feeling joy when you look at your desired future. Stay positive as you work on your goals.

When you discover the essence of or vision board beginning to manifest in your life, make a note of the date. Always remember to express appreciation and gratitude for the manifestation of your dreams.

 

 https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Living-from-The-Heart/110918608974105

30 days to consciously bring love into your life. Day two

30 days to consciously bring love into your life.

www.livingfromtheheart.co.uk

Each day I will be giving you exercises, tools and tips to help you live from the heart to improve your relationships and attract more love into your life.

Day two: Share your gratitude

Share your gratitude list with a partner, loved ones, and cherished friends. Let them feel your positive energy. Invite them to share with you what they are grateful for in their lives and count your blessings together. The more you are grateful for the blessings in your life, the more blessings you will receive in response to your vibration of gratitude. Often in relationships we do not take the time to tell our loved one how grateful we are. Make a commitment to change this.

This is a universe law. Being happy does not make us grateful, being grateful always creates happiness.  Express gratitude for all the relationships and situations that did not work out, embrace the lessons you learned, be grateful for your growth, trust and believe in your heart that you are always moving towards more supportive and loving relationships to develop in your life.

Your gratitude list is a bridge across those troubled waters to a resting place on the other side.

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Living-from-The-Heart/110918608974105

30 days to consciously bring love into your life. Day One

30 days to consciously bring love into your life.

www.livingfromtheheart.co.uk

Each day I will be giving you exercises, tools and tips to help you live from the heart to improve your relationships and attract more love into your life.

'When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.' Lao Tzu

Day one: Begin a daily Practice of Gratitude

Today spend time throughout the day giving thanks for all that is going right in your life. Too often we dwell on what is going wrong. When we complain we weaken our resolve and ability to find solutions. Dwell on what works in your life today.
Make a list of everything you are grateful for. Begin with I am grateful for...
This practice gains momentum when practiced with patience over time.

Notice your distractions.  Evoke feelings of gratitude as you write - do not worry if it does not come easily. Enjoy the feelings when they arrive, feel them deeply in each cell of your body.

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Living-from-The-Heart/110918608974105

How many times have you been mistaken?

How many times have you been mistaken after believing that what you knew was the truth, the only truth? It creates obstacles to growth, there is no room for change within the self, relationships, or our environments.
Keep an open mind and be aware that what you know might not be the truth and what you know is only one perspective.

The Cookie Thief
“A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shops.
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.
So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”
With each cookie she took, he took one too,
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, as he ate the other,
She snatched it from him and thought… oooh, brother.
This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude,
Why he didn’t even show any gratitude!
She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.
She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.
If mine are here, she moaned in despair,
The others were his, and he tried to share.
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.”
Valerie Cox

Learning to tell and hear the truth

I created Living from The Heart in the early 00’s. Many  clients I worked with were interested in the truth, finding it and speaking it. The truth is so hard. People often question if they are telling or hearing the truth. The nature of language and its limits to convey,  describe and construct reality, hinder truth. People reflect and communicate to the best of their abilities. Anything that is expressed is a small part of their experience.

Truth does not wait to be told.

So how does a person know when they are hearing or telling the truth?

Many people struggle to listen to their bodies and meet basic human physiological needs like getting rest, food, water, sex, excretion. (Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs)

 

 It takes great patience and practice to develop the ability to become present and to listen to the intelligence of the body.

 

I help people to slow down and become better observers of their mind, body and emotions. Using a Body / Mind approach leads us to truth, combining eastern and western approaches to healing using:

Psychotherapy • Meditation • Breathwork • Energy Work

 

It is so important to learn to trust your body to receive accurate intuitions.

A story aligned with reality leads to deep wordless insights. If the story you are telling does not lead you to love, connection, and compassion it is not reality.

I have noticed that I am calmer, clearer and more available to the people in my life both personally and professionally. I abide in a deeper peace. This is the criterion for truth that I find to be most satisfying.

 

I will be running a very special weekend workshop on:

 

Advancing and deepening our communication skills on 15^th – 16^th June join us if you can

Venue: London NW5  

Times: 10 – 4pm both days

Conflict in relationships is inevitable. Conflict In itself is not a problem; it’s how you handle it, either creating more harmony or discord in the relationship. Dealing with conflict, and learning effective communication skills can help you to build more successful and loving relationships.

The workshop will explore effective ways to become aware of these negative patterns replacing more loving ways of being in relationships. Developing the capacity to recognise and accept differences from and similarities to other people. Helping you to understand others and ourselves, Embracing difference leads us to a better understanding of relationships with partners, family, and friends resulting in more open and accepting relationships.

Living our truth as whole beings requires us to live life as a creative act. This weekend will explore how we communicate in relationships and how we express our emotions, exploring your right to speak and hear truth. You will learn skills and techniques to help your relationship thrive focusing on the cornerstones of healthy relationships.

Book Now

Learning from Mistakes

With humour we can release the feeling of being of miserable and instead choose to experience the feeling of being blessed. In every experience we have a choice.

Humour is a powerful tool.

The idea of perfection is responsible for much of the suffering in the world. Learning to find humour in your mistakes will magically transform your life, because when you laugh at your mistakes, you allow your real-self to surface. And being real is what life is all about.

You may see laughing at yourself as a threat, but in reality you attract more joyfulness into your life.

Having the ability to laugh at yourself and your mistakes radiates the realness in you, and draws people to connect with you on a personal level.

Mistakes offer us opportunities for learning instead of being annoyed by them. Openness to gaining knowledge from experiences goes hand-in-hand with a degree of humility. If we are too proud, how can we realise that aspects of ourselves still have room to grow.

Humility should not be confused with self-criticism or guilt. Being humble creates true opportunities for growth whereas being self-criticism can create suffering.

We suffer because we identify ourselves with our mistakes, our successes and our failures and the circumstances that affect us.

Learning to have compassion can help us move forward and learning from others' erroneous actions can be a powerful stimulant to learning compassion.

Mistakes of any kind provide opportunities to learn, to break through habitual responses, and speed up our responses and ability to grow. Our brains produce electrical signals when we realise our own or others' errors. If we happen upon a key to “realise “embrace it do not shy away. The more you understand about yourself and learn from your mistakes, the more successful you will be.

Live your life on purpose today.